Devotional #2: Why Talk About Sexuality? Because It’s An Ordinary Part Of Life

The story is told of a bride-to-be living in Victorian England who was consulting with her mother. “What shall I do on my wedding night?” the young virgin asked with grave concern. The mother placed a compassionate hand on her daughter’s shoulder and answered tenderly, “Think of the Empire, my darling. Think of the Empire.”

Let’s fess up. The Church has done a miserable job with the whole subject of sex for the longest time.

But this doesn’t make any sense.

We don’t get 27 verses into the Bible before we meet sex. “So God created man in his own image…male and female he created them.”

God created male and female. It’s his idea. Which means, the body parts. The body feel. The body responses. Chiseled masculinity. Curved femininity. All of this is an amazing expression of God’s love and goodness. This is God firing on all cylinders.

So why do we act as if this is something no one thinks about? Or should think about? There used to be a rumor floating around that guys had a sexual thought every seven seconds, but then someone did the math, and if true, that comes out to nearly 8,000 times a day, and not even Hugh Hefner in his prime could think about sex that much.

But we do think about it a lot. And do you know why this is? Not because we’re sinful. Or because we’re sex-obsessed. But because God made us this way. God made men to feel attraction powerfully through the senses, especially the eyes. With women, attraction is felt more through the heart and emotions.

So you don’t have to say to guys, “Hey do you know sexuality is a big part of our humanity?” Guys see sexuality everywhere. Lonely French fur trappers in the 1800s came upon a majestic mountain range in western Wyoming and named them the Grand Tetons. (If you don’t know what Teton means, think about it. Or google it.) Why did they name them that? Because they were lonely French fur trappers!

We are sexual beings. Can we stop pretending that we’re not?

It was an encouragement early in my marriage when God showed me that sexual attraction comes with the package of being human.

One day when Janis and I were fighting, and I was decorating my heart with balloons and streamers for the awesome pity-party I was about to have, God spoke to my heart. “My son, you married this woman.”

“But what about that other women that I have warm fuzzies about?” I asked.

“What of it?” I heard in reply. “It’s how I made you. That type of woman will always give you warm fuzzies (especially when you’re fighting with my daughter).”

What a revelation. The feelings of attraction I was having for someone else were not proof that I had married outside of God’s will, or a sign that he had something better in store for me. They were just ordinary parts of my inner circuitry.

Which I now needed to learn how to control, and get back to the business of loving my wife.

In other words, with God’s help I could train myself to be a godly man.

Bear Clifton is a pastor, writer and screenwriter. In addition to this website, his blogs and devotionals can be enjoyed at his writing website: Bear is the author of “Train Yourself To Be Godly: A 40 Day Journey Toward Sexual Wholeness”, “Ben-Hur: The Odyssey”, and “A Sparrow Could Fall”. 

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